Five Barbies We Want In Our Lives
Okay, so now that we’ve all gotten over Mattel’s new Barbie line— the diversified dolls will officially hit store shelves March first, but you can get in on the action early through their online shop— with the generally agreeable opinion that more realistic-looking Barbies is a good thing, can we talk about the dolls we really, really want? Don’t get us wrong, this new Barbie is a step in the right direction, but we’re consumers with money to burn. Now that Mattel has shown that it can, in fact, get with the times, we think it would be the perfect time for Barbie and fandom to collide. Hear us out— we’re about to get really progressive— maybe it’s time they start eyeing a market for all kinds of kids, not just girls.
1) Harry Potter
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Imagine how freaking magical this set would be. Sure, everyone and their mother probably has some piece of Potter merchandise around the house— the well-loved series has spawned predictable things like movies and FunKo Pops, but it’s also inspired its own post-secondary courses, a stage play, illustrated editions and adult colouring books— but hear us out. We’re not talking about a single, bespeckled Harry Potter doll in his Hogwarts robes, or even a set of Harry, Ron and Hermione— note: we’d rush out to buy these at the first available opportunity— we’re thinking big leagues. We’re thinking a company should commit to bringing the wizarding world to life, in doll form. This is quite an ambitious project, we know that, but when it comes to Harry Potter, nothing is impossible. Just think about it: variations of Harry, Ron, and Hermione— they could have a Yule Ball set! A chance to see the golden trio in their formal wear? Yes, please— with a mammoth-sized Hogwarts— fully detailed, down to a clearly-discernable portrait of The Fat Lady— and a Hagrid doll that’s bigger than all the rest with wild hair and a bushy beard. They could capitalize on this big time, with an add-on Quidditch pitch (it would be nice if this was included with the Hogwarts set, but we have to give them a chance to milk the brand somehow), Hogsmeade, the Weasley’s house, etc. Ideally, each of the sets would come with new figures— the Ford Anglia, for example, could come with a special version of Harry and Ron, and a Whomping Willow that somehow moves its branches in a deadly fashion—. Who wouldn’t want to buy these? It’s never too early to introduce your kids to the wonder that is Harry Potter, and certainly, you can have fun with the dolls, too! It’s unlikely that every single character in the series will come out to play, but we can dream, can’t we?
2) DCTVU
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We know what you’re going to say: when a superhero is lovingly crafted by a toy company, it is very important that it be distinguished as an action figure. But most of the awe-inspiring, super-detailed action figures cost a wack of money that the average parent isn’t going to splurge on, just to have their kids leave peanut butter smears all over it. And as we saw at 2015’s Paleyfest, superhero fans are getting younger and younger. What’s the harm in rolling out a line of affordable, durable playsets for all fans to enjoy? Just think about it: they could start with Earth One Team Flash, release a few locations (the police station, S.T.A.R. Labs, etc.), a couple of sweet-looking villains (we want Gorilla Grodd!), and they’re set for the first wave. They can do the same thing with Arrow (we will throw truckloads of money at whomever takes up this idea, if they give us multiple outfits for each character, especially Felicity Smoak), maybe even launch a special four-pack with island Oliver, island Slade, The Arrow and Deathstroke to kick start things. But— most importantly— we want two versions of Felicity. The cheerful able-bodied version, and a wheelchair-bound version: if Mattel can recognize that not all of their consumers fit a cookie-cutter body type, they should be able to recognize that kids with disabilities are looking for their likeness, too. We think Felicity is magnificent in all her forms, but adding the variation of her character in a wheelchair will give hope to people who need to see parts of themselves reflected and accepted by the mainstream.
Also, is it too early to be thinking about Legends of Tomorrow figures? Or Supergirl? What about an Earth Two line? What if they were to make a separate line for the movies, that wouldn’t absolutely break the bank? What if they capitalized on Young Justice and helped bring it back on air? What if… okay, we’re getting ahead of ourselves here.
3) How to Train Your Dragon
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A series with scant merchandise, the How to Train Your Dragon film series is the perfect example of an untapped well of potential. And if having a figure in a wheelchair is too big of a step for Mattel to contemplate, series protagonist Hiccup uses a prosthetic leg, and his dragon, Toothless, is disabled as well. And the best thing about those two characters is that being differently abled doesn’t change the way they live their lives: Hiccup still rides dragons and goes on adventures, Toothless still flies and accompanies him. Not to mention: whoever made these dolls (or figures or whatever you want to call them) would have a bonafide line of certifiable cuteness on their hands (even Belch and Barf have their charms). With How to Train Your Dragon 3 coming out in 2018, Mattel should strike while the iron’s hot and bring the village of Berk to life.
4) Star Vs. The Forces Of Evil
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While fans of Star vs. The Forces of Evil await its second season return, the withdrawals are harsh. That’s why having likenesses of Star, Marco, Ludo and his thugs, and even Tom would help make the time fly by faster! Star, a cheery, plucky alien princess, is perhaps the perfect prototype to make a line of dolls with. Not only would she boast a magic wand and a puppy that shoots lasers from its eyes— we’re not sure how that could be incorporated in doll form, but we have faith it can be figured out— having a set of dolls specifically based around the episode “Blood Moon Ball” would be a dream come true. Star Vs. The Forces of Evil has already made Disney XD history (its creator, Daron Nefcy is the second woman to create a show airing on the Disney channel. The first one was Sue Rose, creator of Pepper Ann), is it too much to ask that it spawn its own line of toys, too?
5) Figment
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If you haven’t read Jim Zub’s Figment, you should do that. In case you’re browsing at work or otherwise indisposed: Figment is about an inventor named Blarion “Blair” Mercurial is an inventor with his head stuck in the clouds. He manages to make a device that taps into one’s brainpower with a helmet he calls the Integrated Mesmonic Converter. Thanks to the IMC, an imaginary friend— a purple dragon named Figment— becomes real and journeys with him through the world of imagination. And that’s all we can say without spoiling the read, which is actually quite enjoyable! We’re not too particular about what goes into this set— a five-pack of Figment, Blair, Dreamfinder, Fye and Chimera will do nicely— we’d be happy as long as the figures are well-made!
Now that Mattel has opened up the door for an entirely different breed of Barbie, what are you looking forward to seeing?