5 Signs You’re Going Through Supergirl Withdrawal
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Captain’s Log 001: There was no Supergirl this week. That’s not news, anyone with a TV and/or internet access figured that one out. But as I sit here with my eyes glazed over, flipping through Netflix Canada’s selection, I fear it has begun. I’m showing signs of Supergirl withdrawal, a condition I thought I was immune to after putting up with Afterlife With Archie‘s irregular releases and the weird scheduling pattern of Dick Wolf’s Chicago shows. I now see that this was a silly and naive hope: not only have I come down with classic signs and symptoms of Supergirl withdrawal, I fear this contagious affliction will spread to my co-hosts and friends on The National City Tribune. But for real, though, if your life feels a little emptier without your weekly visit to National City, here are the top 5 signs that you’re probably going through Supergirl withdrawals and need a fix (or a time machine so you can teleport yourself to the exact date and time of the next episode) stat:
Stage 1: Denial
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You’re pretty sure you won’t miss it that much. After all, it’s not like it’s one of your favourite shows or anything. It’s fine. You’re fine. Everything is fine.
Stage 2: Pondering
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You could be eating breakfast or brushing your teeth and jamming out to “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)” and all of a sudden, your mind starts… wondering. About that adorable closing scene from The Girl Who Has Everything— that closing scene was just too perfect, and totally emphasised the friendship between the core four characters. James has great chemistry with Kara when he’s being there for her as a rock-solid friend, and not a dude who’s caught between her and his girlfriend— speaking of, how did Bizzaro Supergirl know that Kara was in love with James? It was pretty cool of him, talking her down like that. Has he considered a career as a life-coach? When he breaks up with Lucy for Kara, is it going to be amicable, or is she going to throw his weird obsession with Kryptonians in his face? Lucy did point out that she feels threatened by Supergirl. Will Kara develop a crush on Barry? Can they please have at least a flirtationship? Is Adam coming back?! Next thing you know, you’ve dropped your overpriced iPhone in the sink and the screen has what looks to be irresistable water damage (R.I.P iPhone). But seriously, is Adam coming back?
Stage 3: Desperate Measures
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So maybe… maybe someone leaked the next episode. A week is too long to wait! Maybe someone on the deep web can hand it over!
Stage 3.5: THE DEEP WEB IS A SCARY PLACE AND NO LIGHT EVER TOUCHES IT. NEVER GO THERE
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Stage 4: Binge Re-watching
So what if you’ve seen these episodes before? So what if you’ve cancelled all your plans and slipped on your comfiest sweat pants to spend 13 hours— give or take— reliving Kara’s journey from the very beginning? Supergirl is too good to be ignored!
Stage 5: Admitting You Have a Problem
So you might be a teensy-weensie too invested in Supergirl. Hey, everyone’s obsessed with something: once you’ve reached this stage, it’s okay to admit to yourself that maybe, just maybe, Supergirl is one of your favourite TV shows after all.
If you too, find yourself in this awful predicament, you should probably consult a medical professional (disclaimer: no you should not), but the saner and more super option is to tune in to The National City Tribune on Thursdays at 9:00 PM eastern.
Make sure you watch the next Supergirl episode Truth, Justice, And The American Way on CBS on Monday at 8/7 central.
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Deadpool Review: The Best Part Of This Movie Was The Whole Thing
Holy sh*t! If you haven’t seen Deadpool, you really, really should. If you’re on the fence, wondering if it’s been overhyped and talked up to death: it hasn’t. The marketing campaign was aggressive— deservedly so— for this R-rated masterpiece, which has already broken box office records, pulling in over $140 million during its opening weekend.
The short of it is that Deadpool is a movie you need to make time to see— call in sick to work, duck out on a family dinner, do whatever you must to get your cute little butt into a movie theatre to witness this monumental film— it makes fun of Reynolds’ previous stint as a Green Lantern, gets frank about masturbation, and comes complete with a couple of sweet cameos.
The long of it is that Deadpool is everything it promised it would be and more. It’s wonderfully violent (including decapitation), fantastically foul-mouthed (lots of F-bombs), the nudity is delicious (particularly the shot of Ryan Reynolds’ finely-toned gluteus maximus), and the political incorrectness is so savage it gives us the warm and fuzzies. But this isn’t just a movie designed to your most crude, innate desires. It actually has a plot (you can check out the IMDB page for a summary).
The casting was spot-on for this movie. Ryan Reynolds was born to play Deadpool and Morena Baccarin as Vanessa is both the girl next door and the sensual sex bomb. She compliments Reynolds’ smart-mouthed, acerbic character perfectly; if there was ever a female lead worth a murdering spree, it’s Vanessa (given that the sequel has already been greenlit, hopefully, Baccarin will return).
Of course, no review of this movie would be complete without mentioning the performances that tied it together: sure, Wade and Vanessa made a perfectly screwed-up couple, but during their two-year-long separation, Leslie Uggams as sharp-tongued Blind Al and T.J. Miller as the painfully-honest Weasel kept Deadpool appropriately feisty. And let’s not forget Dopinder, the only man on the planet who takes Deadpool’s far-fetched romantic advice with more than a grain of salt (we hope he shows up in the sequel). Also, Colossus was amazing. And so was Negasonic Teenage Warhead, and… you know what? Everyone nailed it. The wild west has been won. Nobody felt miscast or awkward, and everyone who interacted with Deadpool only served to highlight the best and worst aspects of his character (sometimes simultaneously).
It’s an action movie, it’s an epic romance, it’s overtly sexy (spoiler ahoy, if you don’t want to know who makes an appearance where, skip to the end of the bracketed section: Stan Lee in a strip club gives me life), it’s a feel-good comedy fest, but most of all, it’s pure, unaltered, unhinged insanity.
There’s still plenty of debate over whether or not this is kiddo friendly, and after seeing the movie, we’re gonna go with a solid N-O. Not because kids are so impressionable, their heads will explode at the first hint of Wade and Vanessa having fun with a strap-on; the theatre will likely be packed with adults at the edge of their seats, waiting to lose themselves in a movie that has tipped the “superhero” genre on its self-righteous head. A crying baby or a kid running up and down the aisle or loudly talking completely breaks the movie’s immersion. As a sign of respect for everyone else, please either leave your child at home or, if Family Fun Night at the movies is a must-have, go see Kung-Fu Panda 3.
Deadpool has earned every bit of praise heaped upon it before, during and after its release, and it was worth the wait. We cannot recommend this highly enough, everything was driven by the details and by an honest love for the character and his source material. If you’re looking to be awed by something close to perfection (or if you want to see Ryan Reynolds’ butt) go see this movie. Seriously. Drop what you’re doing and go, you’ll be glad you did.
Rating: 5/5 stars.
10 Fictional Characters That Would Survive a Zombie Apocalypse
The threat of a zombie invasion has been a popular theme to entertain (and terrify) the masses since 1932’s White Zombie came out, shocking audiences. In recent years, the idea of humanity’s downfall at the hands of reanimated corpses has taken hold of entertainment media as more than just a seasonal horror flick for people who love being scared to sleep at night; from The Walking Dead to the cutesy Plants vs. Zombies franchise, the peculiar possibilities of what one would actually do if one was trapped in a zombie apocalypse both fascinates and disturbs. Since the entire scenario is based on fiction, here’s a list of 10 fictional characters who stand a fighting chance of surviving the reign of the undead.
10) Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games)
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Suzanne Collins’s girl on fire is no stranger to the game of survival (remember when she dug through a baker’s garbage to scrounge for food? And when she illegally traded some of her meats at The Hob? And also when she was bold enough to sell strawberries to the mayor of District 12, even though that was illegal too?) After making it through two televised fights to the death and assassinating a district president all before she hit the legal drinking age, Katniss would probably be desensitized to the blood and gore that comes with the territory of a zombie apocalypse. While she was unwittingly turned into a symbol of hope and the face of a cross-district revolution, Katniss is happier in solitude, where she can hunt for food with her bow-and-arrow, sleep in a tree, steal a quick bath in a stream and enjoy her own personal model of streamlined survival success. Her one weakness would be coming across parentless children (and Peeta, who’s basically in the same boat, with how naive he can be), but she’d take them under her wing, form a ragtag little family of outcasts, and kick undead kiester to protect them.
Though she’d probably be elated to avoid other human beings all together, Peeta would most likely convince her to use her superb archery skills to fight through the zombie hoards and save people who can’t save themselves. We imagine she would enjoy letting an arrow fly through a zombie’s eye or hacking one into bits with a knife. Don’t mess with this mama bear’s cubs (biological or otherwise) or she’ll kill you. (more…)
Five Barbies We Want In Our Lives
Okay, so now that we’ve all gotten over Mattel’s new Barbie line— the diversified dolls will officially hit store shelves March first, but you can get in on the action early through their online shop— with the generally agreeable opinion that more realistic-looking Barbies is a good thing, can we talk about the dolls we really, really want? Don’t get us wrong, this new Barbie is a step in the right direction, but we’re consumers with money to burn. Now that Mattel has shown that it can, in fact, get with the times, we think it would be the perfect time for Barbie and fandom to collide. Hear us out— we’re about to get really progressive— maybe it’s time they start eyeing a market for all kinds of kids, not just girls.
1) Harry Potter
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Imagine how freaking magical this set would be. Sure, everyone and their mother probably has some piece of Potter merchandise around the house— the well-loved series has spawned predictable things like movies and FunKo Pops, but it’s also inspired its own post-secondary courses, a stage play, illustrated editions and adult colouring books— but hear us out. We’re not talking about a single, bespeckled Harry Potter doll in his Hogwarts robes, or even a set of Harry, Ron and Hermione— note: we’d rush out to buy these at the first available opportunity— we’re thinking big leagues. We’re thinking a company should commit to bringing the wizarding world to life, in doll form. This is quite an ambitious project, we know that, but when it comes to Harry Potter, nothing is impossible. Just think about it: variations of Harry, Ron, and Hermione— they could have a Yule Ball set! A chance to see the golden trio in their formal wear? Yes, please— with a mammoth-sized Hogwarts— fully detailed, down to a clearly-discernable portrait of The Fat Lady— and a Hagrid doll that’s bigger than all the rest with wild hair and a bushy beard. They could capitalize on this big time, with an add-on Quidditch pitch (it would be nice if this was included with the Hogwarts set, but we have to give them a chance to milk the brand somehow), Hogsmeade, the Weasley’s house, etc. Ideally, each of the sets would come with new figures— the Ford Anglia, for example, could come with a special version of Harry and Ron, and a Whomping Willow that somehow moves its branches in a deadly fashion—. Who wouldn’t want to buy these? It’s never too early to introduce your kids to the wonder that is Harry Potter, and certainly, you can have fun with the dolls, too! It’s unlikely that every single character in the series will come out to play, but we can dream, can’t we?
2) DCTVU
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We know what you’re going to say: when a superhero is lovingly crafted by a toy company, it is very important that it be distinguished as an action figure. But most of the awe-inspiring, super-detailed action figures cost a wack of money that the average parent isn’t going to splurge on, just to have their kids leave peanut butter smears all over it. And as we saw at 2015’s Paleyfest, superhero fans are getting younger and younger. What’s the harm in rolling out a line of affordable, durable playsets for all fans to enjoy? Just think about it: they could start with Earth One Team Flash, release a few locations (the police station, S.T.A.R. Labs, etc.), a couple of sweet-looking villains (we want Gorilla Grodd!), and they’re set for the first wave. They can do the same thing with Arrow (we will throw truckloads of money at whomever takes up this idea, if they give us multiple outfits for each character, especially Felicity Smoak), maybe even launch a special four-pack with island Oliver, island Slade, The Arrow and Deathstroke to kick start things. But— most importantly— we want two versions of Felicity. The cheerful able-bodied version, and a wheelchair-bound version: if Mattel can recognize that not all of their consumers fit a cookie-cutter body type, they should be able to recognize that kids with disabilities are looking for their likeness, too. We think Felicity is magnificent in all her forms, but adding the variation of her character in a wheelchair will give hope to people who need to see parts of themselves reflected and accepted by the mainstream.
Also, is it too early to be thinking about Legends of Tomorrow figures? Or Supergirl? What about an Earth Two line? What if they were to make a separate line for the movies, that wouldn’t absolutely break the bank? What if they capitalized on Young Justice and helped bring it back on air? What if… okay, we’re getting ahead of ourselves here.
3) How to Train Your Dragon
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A series with scant merchandise, the How to Train Your Dragon film series is the perfect example of an untapped well of potential. And if having a figure in a wheelchair is too big of a step for Mattel to contemplate, series protagonist Hiccup uses a prosthetic leg, and his dragon, Toothless, is disabled as well. And the best thing about those two characters is that being differently abled doesn’t change the way they live their lives: Hiccup still rides dragons and goes on adventures, Toothless still flies and accompanies him. Not to mention: whoever made these dolls (or figures or whatever you want to call them) would have a bonafide line of certifiable cuteness on their hands (even Belch and Barf have their charms). With How to Train Your Dragon 3 coming out in 2018, Mattel should strike while the iron’s hot and bring the village of Berk to life.
4) Star Vs. The Forces Of Evil
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While fans of Star vs. The Forces of Evil await its second season return, the withdrawals are harsh. That’s why having likenesses of Star, Marco, Ludo and his thugs, and even Tom would help make the time fly by faster! Star, a cheery, plucky alien princess, is perhaps the perfect prototype to make a line of dolls with. Not only would she boast a magic wand and a puppy that shoots lasers from its eyes— we’re not sure how that could be incorporated in doll form, but we have faith it can be figured out— having a set of dolls specifically based around the episode “Blood Moon Ball” would be a dream come true. Star Vs. The Forces of Evil has already made Disney XD history (its creator, Daron Nefcy is the second woman to create a show airing on the Disney channel. The first one was Sue Rose, creator of Pepper Ann), is it too much to ask that it spawn its own line of toys, too?
5) Figment
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If you haven’t read Jim Zub’s Figment, you should do that. In case you’re browsing at work or otherwise indisposed: Figment is about an inventor named Blarion “Blair” Mercurial is an inventor with his head stuck in the clouds. He manages to make a device that taps into one’s brainpower with a helmet he calls the Integrated Mesmonic Converter. Thanks to the IMC, an imaginary friend— a purple dragon named Figment— becomes real and journeys with him through the world of imagination. And that’s all we can say without spoiling the read, which is actually quite enjoyable! We’re not too particular about what goes into this set— a five-pack of Figment, Blair, Dreamfinder, Fye and Chimera will do nicely— we’d be happy as long as the figures are well-made!
Now that Mattel has opened up the door for an entirely different breed of Barbie, what are you looking forward to seeing?
Five Pieces of Must-Have Merch for the Deadpool Fanboy
At this point, everyone in the world has heard and rejoiced about Deadpool’s big-screen debut (except for all of the people who have signed this petition. They’d rather we get a family-friendly version of the Merc With A Mouth… we’re not sure if they’ve ever read a Deadpool book, or if they just want to police everyone else’s joy). With the movie on its way, we’ve composed a list of must-have merchandise for the Deadpool fangirl in all of us, so it’s only natural we spread the love to the fanboys as well! Below are five pieces of Deadpool memorabilia that you need in your life (okay, maybe that’s a stretch. You don’t necessarily need things outside of food, water, oxygen and shelter… but you might want these things. So… you’re welcome):
Hot Topic is probably the first place fans will stampede to in the search for goodies plastered with the antihero’s likeness. But come on— it’s hard to resist the temptation of eau de Deadpool, even if you have to stand in line with a bunch of sullen-looking teenagers to get it. And buying the fragrance from the store (or online) is cheaper than hunting through EBay listings for it. We have no idea what sort of aroma genie is contained in that awesome-looking bottle— a review of the product reports that it “…smells like sweet leather, not floral. Maybe a little bit of vanilla?”— but the chance to find out is well worth the price-tag. If you get it, let us know, we’ll come over and take a good, long, lingering sniff.
You know what feels good after sitting in tepid water that’s awash (ba dum tss) with your own filth? Stepping out of that muck and slipping on a warm-and-snuggly fleece robe that makes you look 1000% more badass than you actually are. It’s polyester (that’s comfy), it’s flammable (that’s fun), and it has pockets (for all your personal storage needs. Now you can stuff little doughnuts in your pockets and enjoy them in the bath!) And it’s not like wearing this beauty is exclusive to post-bath/shower time— it’s good for all occasions (except maybe a wedding. But that’s kind of a given— unless it’s your wedding, then you can wear whatever the heck you want. As long as you’re not some sort of fire-eater. As we’ve already mentioned, flame and this stupendous robe do not mix).
We’re not saying you should spend over $100 on converse shoes— that would be insane!— we’re suggesting you drop over $100 on custom-made Deadpool converse shoes. Sure, the cost is a little steep, but isn’t that what blackmail and extortion is for? We’re kidding, don’t do that. The police will show up at your door, and they won’t let you keep your hard-earned shoes. If you don’t like the design, as per the product description, you can always request a truly customized pair of kicks from the seller.
“Mouthy Canadian” Deadpool Shirt
It’s fair to say that a lot of fans will be wearing their Deadpool gear with pride up to, during, and after the film’s anticipated release. But how many of those people will be boasting a shirt that, at once represents the mind-boggling antihero and resembles a beer logo? Not many, we’re guessing. And unlike the previously-featured shoes, this shirt won’t leave a gaping hole in your bank account (we hope not, anyway). When you wear this shirt, you might as well crack the tab on a cold can of beer, blast some Marianas Trench, and declare: “I. Am. Canadian.”
Sure, we’ve already sung this collection’s praises, but it’s a must-have for fangirls and fanboys, regardless of whether you’ve just jumped onto the Deadpool Xpress, or you’re an old-timer who’s been through multiple reboots/revamps/relaunches. We’ve already discussed the pros of having this heavyweight classic in your life and on your shelf. But in case you need more reasons to click the “BUY NOW,” button:
You should have this. Not only is Joe Kelly’s storytelling superb, his grasp of Deadpool as a character is smart and spot-on.
2) You deserve this. If you’re new to Deadpool, this is a great introduction to sink your teeth into, so you can experience the depths of Wade Wilson’s insanity for the first time.
3) You want this. Life’s too short to stare longingly at something on a shelf and have some weird, reverse buyer’s remorse because you didn’t purchase this book.
In the end, it’s your dollar and your decision. But everyone’s personal space— whether you’re living in a cramped little apartment, an unassuming house in suburbia, or couch-hopping— will get a lot better with a little Deadpool. Or you can just go see the movie, since it comes out on February 12th, and ignore the temptation to add a bunch of stuff to your life. But where’s the fun in that?
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Five Pieces of Must-Have Merchandise For The Deadpool Fangirl
With arguably the coolest superhero movie ever made steam-rolling into theatres in February, even non-believers are getting that Deadpool itch. But with an over-saturation of superhero merch on the market (everyone will be lining up to raid Hot Topic’s licensed loot), it can be hard to find something (for yourself or your sweetie) that’s unique in the Deadpool department— especially if you’re a lady. Never fear, though, there’s tons of great ‘Pool propaganda out there. In case you need help looking, we’ve compiled a list of the top five pieces of must-have merch for the Deadpool fangirl in everyone.
If you want to make one of the three rings in your marriage a Deadpool-inspired beauty, well, no one can stop you! These antiheroic rings are a little on the pricey side (psst: they’re on sale!) But if your commitment to Wade Wilson— err, the love of your life— includes a matching set of engraved Thorsten Deadpool rings, these are a must-have. With bling this fine perched on your ring finger, nobody will confuse your relationship status. Plus, they’ve got a lifetime warranty, to (hopefully) match the finite eternity of your wedded bliss. You may now kiss the bride. (Or the groom. Or the taco. Whatever, love is love. But hey, if you’re serious about paying homage to Wade Wilson on your wedding day, you should check out this Deadpool lingerie. At current, it’s sold-out, but you can always wait for it to come back in or ask the seller to custom-make something for you).
Is your BFF your Valentine this year? Great idea! Why not show them you care by spicing up an old gift idea with a new twist? This Spideypool necklace set is the perfect present to complement two different (yet enduring) personalities. These two characters may not always get along, but, well, Marvel thinks it’s a good idea to jam them together, so their bond is an inescapable product of forces beyond their control— just like you and your bestie! No one will be able to resist either one of you with these cool charms around your necks.
Wanna show your ears some lovin’? Nothing says, “Thanks for eavesdropping for me,” like stabbing through your own flesh with these handmade studs. They look cool, they’re affordable, and you can’t tell if the Deadpool design is squinting at a taco truck in the distance or warding off an enemy (or your hug-happy great aunt Mildred) with an evil glare— either way, his heated gaze has got you covered.
Holy sh*t! Do you know how freakin’ frigid it is in some parts of the world right now? Do you know how many people are cursing the cold with chattering teeth, and wishing they had something other than a scratchy wool blanket to keep them warm? If you’re one of those people, you’re in luck! Nothing warms your frostbitten toesies and stokes the dying fires of your frozen soul quite like a fleece blanket— and this one’s got Deadpool extolling the virtues of tacos on it! If getting cozy underneath the world’s most famous fictional mercenary sounds like a delight to you, you’d better hurry and grab one of these suckers, before some snot-nosed kid gets it first.
Whether you’ve been reading Deadpool from the start or you’ve just boarded the insane train, or you’re somewhere in between, this is the perfect addition to any Deadpool fan’s collection. Joe Kelly has been praised around the world (wide web) as one of Deadpool’s definitive writers (or maybe we just have a soft spot for his run, and how brilliantly-crafted and funny and awesome it is). He captures the character— in all his ultraviolent, self-loathing, utterly unhinged glory— perfectly. If you have Joe Kelly’s Deadpool omnibus on your shelf, we hope you display this whopping 1,000+ page title with pride.
If you’ve managed to stick with us this whole time (undeterred by the need to pull out your credit card and treat yourself), we commend you. The truth is, we had a robot write the outro to this article because the author got lost in the swirling vortex of Etsy’s Deadpool offerings. You can’t force your employees to be productive— but you can make the choice to go see Deadpool in style. The R-rated masterpiece hits theatres everywhere February 12th.
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Five Most Dateable (and Doable) Fictional Men
Have you ever snuggled up to watch a show, thinking you’re going to have a good time, and emerged from your bed an emotional wreck because of that one fictional guy on your screen? Falling for a fictitious dude is pretty much inevitable with the rise and staying power of the almighty fandom culture— especially with adorable things like endless types of fanfic— amounts of soul-crushing despair, puke-worthy fluff, or even shameless smut may vary— fanart, and even painstakingly-made gifsets to stoke the roaring fires of your one-sided love. Hey, there’s no shame in preferring fantasy over reality— and with that in mind, we’ve put together a list of five of the most scrumptiously dateable fictional men.
1) Peeta Mellark (The Hunger Games)
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The baker boy from Suzanne Collins’ award-winning young adult dystopian trilogy is perfect on paper. At once articulately charming enough to win the favour of the audience rooting for his imminent death in a twisted version of reality TV (The Hunger Games makes Keeping Up With the Kardashians seem tasteful), and vulnerable enough to capture the hearts of readers everywhere, it’s hard to imagine anyone turning their nose up at Peeta (or his fresh buns). It doesn’t hurt that he is completely and unashamedly in love with series protagonist, Katniss Everdeen, more than willing to die so that she can go home to her sister, the only person she truly loves. When the books were turned into films, actor Josh Hutcherson had his work cut out for him— and even though he had to dye his hair blonde, we think he did a pretty spiffy job encapsulating and personifying the reliably lovestruck Peeta alongside Jennifer Lawrence’s world-weary Katniss. Even when he’s captured by the Capitol and tortured, irrevocably damaged, and turned into a Katniss-hating machine with the single directive to search for and destroy her… he’s still pretty hot. And aside from the obvious bonus that Hutcherson looks like a miniature version of Gabriel Macht (you marinate with that), who doesn’t want their very own Peeta Mellark to love them unconditionally? You’ll never yearn for bakery-fresh cupcakes again, and hey, he’s a good cuddler! The final film in The Hunger Games franchise, Mockingjay, Part 2 hit theatres on November 5th, 2015, giving Peeta fans everywhere a bittersweet farewell. We ask you: is your love for the strong-jawed, big-hearted Peeta Mellark real or not real?